Today is my third anniversary with Liz. That’s only as far as marriage goes, we’ve been together for nine years. I don’t really feel that marriage defines relationships. It’s one of those things that a lot of people do and I do think its something that’ll become less and less common over the next decade or two (and further beyond, but most noticeably the next two decades).
Something about the institutional nature of it. There is something lost in the organic nature of relationships when you begin to use arbitrary rules set out by people you’ve never met and who likely do not deserve your obedience. That isn’t to say it doesn’t work for me, I’m a simple fella. The rules that define marriage impact me about as much as smoking and drinking laws did in the past. They existed and I knew they existed but my own actions and desires never necessitated I think about them or lament over them.
The arbitrary nature of it is likely to die though. I do believe people will still have names for their relationships. Just as when I was very young you had your “likes” and your “like likes”. We love to give our feelings, hobbies, and qualities titles. By labeling them we give them some extra feeling of permanence. We give them some level of value.
I don’t in any way think these most recent three years are more valuable than the six prior because we got married. Each year is something to cherish because it is. Each adventure, each thought, each experience grand or minute. No millenia old group of codgers has had any influence on that. Their mythos was admirable but it doesn’t bring value to a relationship.
The people in the relationship bring value. The way they experience life together is what matters. At least that’s how I see it. It’s interesting to think that I’m not even 30 and I’ve spent nearly a decade alongside someone I’m not blood related to. It’s been easy. I know some people mention how in relationships you have disagreements or fights but I don’t really think there have been any moments that came close to the animosity that one experiences within their own family.
I couldn’t even say where I’m going with any of this. My brain is hardwired for this kind of meandering conversation I suppose. I’m a happy dude. In my life I am experiencing some rather dark things and dealing with it at varying levels of success. But she makes it all easier. She’s a drop of honey in cup of warm tea, a cool breeze through the window on a hot summer’s day, or the smell of petrichor after a spring rain.
If that sounded cryptic, those are all things I love.
When events threaten to overwhelm and destroy I can hold them at bay because I know I’ll have her to turn to. Which suggests to me that my next course of action is to eliminate those threatening events. Then life will be just peachy.
I love Liz. I’ve had such a strange and unlikely life but in the end it has lead me to her. Even the misfortune of landing in California lead to us meeting Artemis and Venus.
Each shadowy door inevitably leads to a bright new world.
All I need do now is clutch this looming darkness in my palm and squeeze the life from it.
Thanos approves this message.
[No really its super meta. Like painfully meta.]