Blood Dragon and Corporate Fetishism for Obfuscation
PC Gaming is a strange beast. Every company is trying to carve out their own niche and create an experience they think will put them above their competition. But I find that the more people try and make what they have unique the more they make it less user friendly. Case in point: Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon.
Finally one of the items on Steam Sale caught my attention and I grabbed it. I’ve heard nothing but good things about FC3:BD and figured for a few bucks I could both afford it and seeing how I really liked FC3 I could likely enjoy it. The download took a few hours which is fair and to be expected. Then I had to wait for uplay to update which took far longer than it should have. Then I had to put in my CD key on Uplay to prove that I had purchased it.
Then I had to take a moment to reflect on why exactly Uplay exists? Who thought this extra unhelpful and poorly designed step was a positive step for their company? I understand Ubisoft is famous for terrible DRM practices and just being out of touch but Uplay seems to be the shining example of their disconnect from reality. Anyways back to the story at hand.
I installed the game, updated Uplay, then found my account details because who in their right mind memorizes their login info to Uplay. Everything seemed good, time to try streaming my crazy 80’s dragon battles to Twitch and…
It doesn’t work.
Cool. Alright that’s fine. Let’s just have steam verify cache and…100% correct files. Oh, well that’s fine I guess. How about I check their forums. Looks like other people are having my issues too and…Ubisoft says its not a problem on their end. Well that’s awfully strange. Maybe my direct X isn’t updated. No that isn’t it. Maybe my video drivers aren’t updated? No that isn’t it. Windows? Nope. Registry? Nope. Do I have anything installed that should conflict with Blood Dragon? Nothing I can see.
No old drivers, install verified, drive defragmented.
Maybe uplay is broken. I’ll just uninstall that and reinstall it and…
It uninstall Blood Dragon also. Sweet now I’ve got to redownload the game.
It reminds me of Games for Windows Live. The software broke constantly, didn’t stop piracy, and only had minimal perks. Turns out after a bit of searching I found out what the problem is. The game phones home before it reaches the login screen. The Ubisoft servers can’t currently handle the load from new people playing the game (apparently). If I were willing to wait 5 to 10 minutes it would actually work. Amusingly this problem is on consoles as well. So I suppose my earlier point about PC Gaming is somewhat moot.
I’m about to try using Uplay in offline mode. If this works I’m going to be awfully disappointed in Ubisoft (more than I already am).
Well it worked. I’m going to go play Pokémon now and psychically send my disappointing finger wags to Ubisoft.