So I’ve come off the anxiety medication I was on. I believe between it and the muscle medication I was taking that it was the one more directly impacting my ability to speak. We’ll see if I am correct in the coming week or two.
I liked that it was leveling out the lows and making the highs more noticeable in my life but I happen to start on it right at the moment that things were finally going right all at the same time. I feel like it created a higher energy version of me than I’m used to and I wasn’t able to really control it well.
I’ve started working out every night when I watch my YouTube subscriptions, hopefully the exercise will improve circulation and help keep me above the fog in terms of exhaustion. The exertion is also good for regulating body chemicals and in general providing me with a healthier lifestyle.
I wish all high intensity interactions for me with other people were in text. I really do enjoy the me that comes out in words. Even when I write a story I don’t really like I still enjoy the experience and the overall act. I was just chuckling to myself how little I relate to the me that wrote the common courtesy article on the right.
He was a much angrier person, stressed and overwhelmed. I am those latter two things as well but I’ve decided to come at life as a more relaxed and forgiving person.
I worry that it gives me an air of disingenuousness, perhaps people think that no person is this carefree about their life. Or maybe I’m reading too far into the body language of others. That’s what I’ve always done though, I fight the urge sometimes to ask people what is up. What is on their mind, what is wrong with their week, what is crawling up on their back and weighing them down?
At any rate the last couple of weeks have been an educational experience for me. I’ve got to see a few different sides of myself and its helped sort out a few things. I’ve had a few genuine out of body experiences as well, nothing scary or crazy mind you. Just being lost in the moment and speaking at a hundred miles an hour.
I think next month I’m going to start doing some video content to keep me busy and give me a project. I don’t quite know what yet and I’m not exactly the most expressive person verbally. But maybe this is what I need and this sort of exercise will help keep me nimble.
I find it amusing that I got 7 words incorrect on a list of 25 when randomly quizzed and yet I just wrote this entire thing and only spelled a single word wrong. Weird how stress can drastically hamper your ability to work and think.
Such is life though and I suppose I wouldn’t have it any other way, largely because there is no choice in the matter.
I need to setup a default image for these articles. That [X] showing up in the top right of my posts is very unattractive.