Naughty Words

//Naughty Words

Naughty Words

  Headaches are a bitch. That pounding that hits you right at the center of your very being. I’m not sure if this is the same for most people but my headaches get worse the more deep in thought I end up. This ends up becoming a pretty evil cycle of thought and throbbing that goes on for hours. In this case I’m hoping to ease it with some music and emptying my brainbox on the website.

  Tomorrow we’ll likely see a story update but lets get something out of the way before we dive into that project. Sticking with tradition I’m going to ask a Rhetorical question, Have you ever wondered what the largest oddity in your culture is? I was recently lost in a thought swamp and I fell upon what might be the weirdest thing in all of Western Culture.

  It’s not uniquely western but I don’t know much about eastern cultures and would rather not stretch this blanket statement out further than necessary. How weird is it that we still have curse words? Take a moment to think about what cursing is. You create a series of vibrations in the air by passing air over your voice box, those vibrations travel a relatively short distance (usually) and resonate in the ear of nearby people (and other animals, but they are less inclined to care) this data is transferred by the shivering little hairs in your ear along a network of nerves into your brain and there it is processed.

  That sound in most cases is benign, it will cause no longer term or even short term damage to your ear canal or any of the machinery in it. It won’t age you faster, it won’t randomize your cells, and in the end it ceased to actually physically exist less than a second after it was created. If there ever was a harmless thing that one person could do to another and still have it recognized as an interaction this would have to be it. Well perhaps it isn’t but I’m not seeing anything else in my mind short of some awkward body language.

Ladies

Ladies.

  How can there be laws on this? How exactly does society get so broken and silly that it actually regulates these harmless transfers? What is so special about the word “Fuck” that is not encapsulated in the word “Duck”. In my youthier youth I was fond of saying “Fuck a Duck!” and I don’t ever suggest that you do but it was probably my first foray into the silliness of the issue. It was fun to say, it rhymed, and duck’s deserve more presence in everyday conversation.

  Fowl fornication aside, why do schools care? Why do parents care? Why do churches care? Censorship agencies? Neighbors? Strangers? How did this become an accepted tradition in so many cultures? How can people rant about faith and other arguably silly things but totally bypass something this stupid?

  And this is stupid. The very nature of “strong language” is so painfully stupid that if my head didn’t already feel like a midget was beating it in with a tire iron I’d be taken there whole hog. I know the argument against words like “retards” or “faggot” and so on. It’s more an argument against a culture than the actual words themselves, I find it equally stupid since attacking the language and masking the issue doesn’t make it go away. The issues become harder to identify sure but that’s a negative.

  Fuck, Dick, Bitch, and so on all now have this weird problem. People can stop being retarded (oh, there is that word) and identify that these words are no more special than any other words and use them as they would “bread” or “Sunday”. However we want to also not go full tilt in the other direction, they should not become replacements for more accurate words or pauses. A good example is the word “like”, it has been getting abused with an incredible voracity throughout my entire life. “Like I was talking to him and he like exploded.”

  That’s equally unacceptable because the words are not special, bitch shouldn’t replace pauses, periods, or commas. Tank, Tickle, and Peck, should also not replace these things.

  I am overstretching I’m sure but there just has to be a point where we need to admit that we will never be a sane collective of humans until we get rid of old superstitious nonsense. “Curse Words” are easily the dumbest cultural commodity that has ever existed and anyone who accepts it as a legitimate concern is -without exception- silly.

  We need to invent a word for this level of stupid, this mass hysteria is almost comical. I will be infinitely disappointed if we meet another intelligent creature and it ends up having curse words. If I end up an ambassador on that meeting it’ll go down like this.

  “Welcome! We are the Ambassadorship of the United Earth.”

  “Oh my! I can’t believe you’d use such a word in our company!”

  “I’m sorry?”

  “That word, “the”, it is one of our forbidden words.”

  “Wait. You have curse words?”

  “Of course!”

  “Alright! Everybody back to the ship! We have nothing to learn here.”

  However I’m guessing by the time we actually invest in true space travel we will have gotten beyond this incredibly stupid rule. It’s almost as stupid as nudity, almost, I can understand the sanitary concerns of keeping people clothed in public (not that that is the actual reason) but I cannot for the life of me find even the smallest bit of reasonable data to support something as completely moronic as curse words.

  Seriously. It’s right up there with people who light themselves on fire. What makes it so mind bending is that entire countries practice this foolish tradition. You can even be put in prison for using “fuck” in a courtroom. Honestly?

  Holy Shit.

  Well…looks like my head still hurts. But at least I got that off my mind. Shape up people, if we are hoping to ever meet intelligent life in our future we best actually make ourselves not look like a giant fleshy sea of morons. That’s my heartfelt suggestion.

By | 2012-06-23T23:59:53+00:00 June 23rd, 2012|Journal|Comments Off on Naughty Words