Tomorrow is the first day in our new office and I’m uncertain if it will be a new opportunity or the final straw. It’s difficult to gauge because too many variables are involved and quite a lot of them are erratic and unpredictable. I’m not a big fan of that, uncertainty in something as fundamentally important as a job is never good for morale.
In other news western medicine might be onto something, I’m currently taking little blue pills that smell and taste like hell itself but they also manage to completely eliminate the pain in my lower abdomen. My question becomes, is this merely covering up a problem or am I actually taking care of it?
With my stomach the paralysis actually solved my dilemma and stopped my problem, but now I’m wondering if I am getting so lucky. Once that bottle runs out I wonder if I’ll relapse right back to where I was, and if that is the case that will be quite unfortunate indeed.
Western Medicine is a miraculous thing, though, to go from mind rotting pain to relatively alright overnight is strange. The side effects are silly and annoying but don’t end up being worse than the original symptom, they are muscle relaxants which means I don’t sweat at the moment, I also barely salivate, which conversely means my throat is dry.
Now you might think you’ve had a dry throat before, but trust me you haven’t, when I say dry throat I mean trying to swallow a chunk of string cheese without a drink can choke me. Food just doesn’t go down my throat, its crazy but it was expected. Consequently it also means that occasionally I feel like my throat is swollen because of the numbness, it actually has not however.
Mentally right after you take them you are a bit groggy, but that goes away after about an hour. I’m tempted to take them and try exercising (keeping mind of my body temperature, seeing as I can’t sweat). On the plus side, since this medication is working it possibly limits the causes of my problems.
But regardless of my health there is one fact that I must face. This year something is going to change, a dark cloud has taken residence above my professional world and it is unacceptably menacing. I think everyone knows, I think most people working with me feel the same way, it’s a feeling not unlike the one I had in Circuit City and the Studio in the past.
You sit there and you see it, a terrible leader with incredible power and no accountability, the death knell of any organization. Everyone knows the end is coming but nobody can do anything about it. Tomorrow my supplies for work consist of a single gearbox black cardboard box with a keyboard, mouse, and a few small essentials. There are plenty of things I want to bring but I need to be confident I won’t be packing it all up in short.
As always, I would love to be wrong but thus far every prediction I’ve made has been fulfilled.