Reviews: Bacon Insider

///Reviews: Bacon Insider

Reviews: Bacon Insider


I don’t believe I’ve ever done a food review before. This should be fun. Basically I saw this yesterday and thought “I suppose that could be fun.” Liz and I decided that we’ll take a walk there (about 1.2 miles roundtrip) and give it a go. At 5 dollars for the burger I knew that it was going to be quite an investment, but part of me thought that if it were even a 10th as impressive as the images they used in the pictures and videos that I’d be happy with my purchase.

I suppose we’ll work through the various parts of the sandwich and then end with some final thoughts. That is likely the most fair approach to this sandwich and the cleanest method I can use for something I’ve not done before.

The Patty

  The idea is sound. This is actually what drew me to it in the first place. Cooking bacon and then putting bits of it into a meat patty is actually a pretty cool treat. I realize you wouldn’t want to eat it every day but I can see the allure of putting such sweet merciful goodness into your gullet. The images in their advertising suggest that your hamburger will be inundated with chunks of bacon that will cause spontaneous orgasm upon consumption. The reality was far more reserved.

  The bacon bits were so small that they were nearly invisible. I had a tough time finding any with each bite I took. This was exceptionally silly because the sandwich is basically enclosed with strips of bacon which make those tiny bits irrelevant. The actual meat patty wasn’t anything special. It wasn’t gross, but it didn’t do anything for me. If you want a meat patty that will absolutely blow your mind, go get Five Guys, you won’t find it in the Bacon Insider sandwich.

  It’s also cheaper there for a far superior patty. I really like typing and saying the word patty.

The Vegetables

  The lettuce was crunchy and tasty, the tomatoes were as well. I also realize that “cheese” is not a vegetable but that was fine too. But really it was “cheese” as in “Well it’s yellow.” This was probably my second favorite part of the sandwich which is a bit problematic. If I wanted a good vegetable sandwich I’d make one at home with thick slices of tomato and honey mustard. Which, if you haven’t tried it, is so delicious it will cause you to see into parallel universes.

  But yes, awfully strange that the second most memorable and enjoyable part of a sandwich devoted to bacon is the non-bacon aspects of it.

The Bacon

  The bacon was overcooked and not in the good way. When I overcook bacon at home it is crispy and a bit charred. The taste is exquisite and it causes my tongue to dance in my mouth. This is that kind of strange meta-bacon that exists only in fast food places. It’s bland, somehow soggy and hard at the same time, and really disappointing. I wouldn’t say that their bacon is bad, because it isn’t in a relative sense, the bacon is merely average.

  But you hope that they’ll put a little more effort into something that they are marketing. Sadly this was not the case.

The Sauce

  As far as I could tell there was basically none. The picture above makes it look like a river of bacon infused sauce will flow through your veins. But what I got looked like a micron thick layer of mayonnaise. Don’t get me wrong, I’m white and thusly legally obligated to love mayo, but this was disappointing. I think back to the cost of the burger and wonder why so little effort was put into this. Why advertise it as this glorious magnum opus to bacon if it will be lacking in all avenues where bacon is involved.

  Once again I think to Five Guys, or Habit Burger, or In-N-Out, or Red Robin, and I wonder what went wrong here.

The Bun

  Hands down the best part of the burger. If I could go there and get this bun for fifty cents or something, I wouldn’t, but I’d certainly think about doing it. It was soft, delicious, and hit me in all the right ways. When I was gorging down on this burger I did so because I wanted more of the bun. Everything else was merely average. This still doesn’t do much for the burger because the one place that all burger places do well, in my opinion, is in their buns. This likely has to do with how intimate your contact with the bun is. You are holding it, smelling it when you bite down, and it too goes inside you. The rest tends to be trapped within it, awaiting processing through your innards.


  The burger is average, in every sense of the word. They do nothing better nor worse than their direct competitors. I often think of Jack-In-The-Box as the “second Tier” of a four-ish tier burger domain. Of those in or below them they aren’t really being offensive with this burger. But nothing about it jumps out to me, nothing about it leads me to want to tell others to have it. I feel like there was no real effort put in and that is darn disappointing. You figure with the employees getting poor pay, the animals likely being abused, and all the other negatives that tend to be related to the industry that maybe something would come out positive. You kinda hope with all that poop you could at least say “Well at least it was really good.” at the end of the day.

  Sadly I can’t. If you get it you won’t be disappointed, it’ll be as good or bad as you find all their other menu items.

The Waffle Cut Sweet Potato Fries

  Incredibly bland and confusingly seasoned with pepper. But if not for the pepper the blandness would be far too great. I can’t recommend these to anyone. They aren’t bad necessarily but the regular fries are far superior at Jack. Avoid, if for no other reason than the price. I’d be more verbose about them but they don’t merit anything more really.


By | 2015-02-08T21:10:37+00:00 February 9th, 2014|Okay Things, Reviews|1 Comment