Journal

That Dark Passenger in all of us.


My studies have come back and it looks like I literally am just killing myself. So strange, I guess that’s just what it is. All my tests came back healthy or safe but I’m sitting here with a boiling feeling in my abdomen, how strange is that?

Just getting stuck on all the small things I guess. Ultimately trivial nothingness that is of little if any importance. I know this, but the me inside my mind does not. There are two people in your body no matter how healthy you are. The guy or gal that is reading this and then the person that really runs the show. That other you that hides deep in the darkness of your mind.

That’s the one that you need to convince, that is the one that stops the hurting. That you is what controls your hormones, your health, your everything. That is the you that is breathing when you aren’t paying attention and now that you read this you are now the one breathing.

I’m speaking philosophically obviously but this is how I come to terms with it. There are two me, the one that understands that I just cut myself and put a bandage on me and then the stubborn ass that sends the pain signals all day and night to me. Yes, I get it, that shit is cut. Just stop.

In related news I think I’ve spent enough time relaxing. My next story will be starting soon. A few raw pieces are up on the website. I’m writing the story in the first person (as a challenge) and seeing how it goes. You are trapped in Shiki’s mind. Does that make you the one reading, or does that make you Shiki’s dark insider? It will remain to be seen I suppose.

They’ve landed on an alien planet, a planet lush with vegetation but seemingly no organic life. What is coming their way will change their lives and perhaps that of the galaxy. Or it won’t. Who knows, I mean, I do basically, but you don’t yet.

I like writing, it gives me a chance to lay down little digital squiggles and then for someone across the world to read those squiggles and suddenly be there with me. You sit there in your chair, or relaxing back in your bed with a cellphone, and we talk. I admit it is a bit one sided, I’m just a talking head of sorts, but for me this is cathartic. I appreciate you being here and I’m glad you find some level of entertainment from this.

Other than Mario Batali, nobody has quite the atmosphere or spirit for cooking that Julia has.