Journal

Bubble Butts


  Man my hands are cold…I should not do deck building downstairs. But as I wait for these 10 sickly digits to warm up to something I can feel I’ll tell you a bit about our kitties. Very little, just one more story to help prove they are evil geniuses. My computer uses 3 screens and I switch between Eyefinity and extended single, there is a single key combination that switches them back and forth. Venus stepped on only two keys, those VERY 2 keys.

  She then looked at me, after a light puff of air she walked off. The damage had been done, and dominance had been established.

  So I don’t do drugs and I have a pretty solid reason why, well not a single reason, but this one I think is pretty solid. I have weird thoughts while 100% sober. Today I was curious about bubble butts, and I know many people are thinking “Well sure I was thinking about those today too!”

  But I don’t think you are on the same page as me, I created a thought experiment in my head that asked the question: “IF all other things were the same, what would be different if our butts did nothing but blow soap bubbles?”

  100% sanitary, all your butt does in this universe is blow soap bubbles throughout the day. The first and most obvious thing is that soap can dry out your skin if you leave it on there too long, so I suspect pants would need to be dramatically different. If nothing else back less chaps would be mighty popular.

  But further, would butts be considered dirty? If we presume that these are 100% the same as soap bubbles from soap products its not a matter of sanitation. Also would people be mortified to get hit by a butt bubble of someone else? This seems like a thought that is biased by my own personal feelings on the matter, if someone now were to blow a bubble with their rear I would be an extremely unhappy person to have it land on me.

  Would it be funny? We laugh at farts now, would bubble blasts be hilarious to us? I know for me it seems like it would be painfully funny, but if everyone is doing it then I would suspect it would be similar to hearing elbows pop.

  How would chairs be designed? The moisture from the bubbles would be terrible on most modern fabrics. Imagine your office chair getting a fresh coating of soapy water each day. The mildew build up and other issues would just be terribly inconvenient.

Bubble Matrix  I’m not sure what the mechanism would be, frankly, how digestion would lead to the production of soap bubbles but I’m sure nature finds its way.

  This sort of strange stuff is what racks my brain about once a day or so. I don’t really need any drugs to help me wonder the oddest things.

  Although I recall being told in college “I’d love to get you high.” which I thought was a flattering compliment. Although I suspect I’d be incredibly boring stoned. I’d probably say things like “Guys, guys, I’ve been thinking about taxes.”

  I’d write more but it is quite difficult to write when it looks like someone is reading it, even though I’m sure they aren’t. (Hint…hint…)

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