So alongside completing some of my unity dev work I also took some time to play Diablo 3 with my lovely wife. She tried to help me with the Witch Doctor Jade Harvest Set Dungeon (herein called the Dungeon for my sanity) and for a while we failed miserably. So we decided to go try and do hers and it was more or less a breeze. Nicely laid out, relatively fair requirements and everything was visible, fairly large too. It was nice to help her do it, though I’m confident she could have done it on her own. She’s cool like that. Anyways, I got to share in the victory. Following that we decided to go and try to do mine again.
I don’t know if that was a mistake or not. Because the dungeon is awful. It’s the worst experience I’ve ever had in Diablo 3. You’ve got to deal with an extremely tight timeframe to kill everything in one of the largest maps available. A map that has a very rough and tight pattern you must follow just to reach the end with a little near a minute to spare. Your tasks involve killing critters in pairs of 15, when many times there are only 15 in a bunch and usually 1 is just too far away. Additionally you must kill dozens of snake people who go invisible for 5-10 seconds at a time. Sometimes they’ll stay invisible for all the remaining seconds of your attempt causing you to fail, more on that in a few more sentences.
Then you’ve got to put two separate dots on a hundred things, and kill all those things while they have those dots, and do this without dying. But since you need to get souls on all of them you can’t just nuke them down because that takes time. So you’ve got to figure out ways to survive while upwards of 40-50 mobs are trying to hit you at one time. If they all connect at once you’ll instantly die and fail. There will be 0 time for feedback or recovery.
The snakes return to invisible if you walk away from them which means that for each snake you don’t kill there is a good chance you just lost 10 seconds of kill time in the map. When you consider how many are on the map that means they can very easily be the sole reason you fail dozens of times until the RNG works in your favor. Furthermore the spawns are random which means you might find evenly spaced pools of 20 electric eels, or you’ll find giant pools of 50. You might thing “Oh nice, 50? That must be 2 procs of your hit 15 mobs at once!” you’d think that, and you’d be wrong.
If you blast 50 critters it will count for you once and, as far as I can tell, a further blast will net you 0. This means that if they are pooled too much you won’t be able to finish quickly which is essential because you must kill nearly 500 monsters in a few minutes.
Doing this with Liz we got down to 1-5 mobs and 1 second remaining multiple times. On the final completion it finished literally in the time fractions of time between 0 and 1 second remaining. My side panel hadn’t even updated by the time the game had told me I succeeded. As far as I can tell, without the best gear and 500+ paragon levels you couldn’t possibly finish this by yourself. Even if you could its unlikely that you could finish it more than once out of every dozen attempts.
This was, without a doubt, the worst thing I’ve ever done in a diablo game. I would say Blizzard game but I did not enjoy the legendary cloak quest even more than this. It’s a black mark on this season and one of the worst examples of game design in a good game that I’ve seen in a long time. Even the most obnoxious of Bloodborne quirks doesn’t come close to how awful this is.
That said, I’m writing this all pretty chill. I won’t let even something this awful get to me. And I’m happy that it is over.