I don’t know if this will be posted on the proper day. It can be difficult to keep track when you are writing offline. I had a goal this month that I would try to brighten my days. Get back to living the relaxed life. And yet it feels like that was just not meant to be.
This, the last month of my twenties, has been one of the worst in recent memory. Bad news, worse news, and startling life events all stack on top of one another to chip away at me. At this point I can only imagine at a glance I look like a tree moments before a logger shouts “Timber!” A phrase I am only now realizing is literally just shouting what it is that is about to fall.
By an hour from now I should have some news, or perhaps not, that’s only the beginning of things. It will be three hours further from then that I should hopefully see some light. I can honestly say that while I really enjoyed Star Trek Beyond, the subject matter given this month made it hard for me.
I suppose I am somewhat proud of myself. I have managed this month without medication and haven’t completely broken down. That bodes well for the rest of my life. Though I imagine many more tragedies lie on the horizon. Though upon saying this I remember those two days earlier this month. I guess my mind just likes to forget things sometimes.
Sometimes it feels like you are routinely shooting, aiming to score, but the goalie is just too damn good.