howold Journal

How many monthyears old are you?

Tomorrow is my Birthday. There are some interesting things to note about that. The first is that obviously I’ll never be able to visit the exact spatial location that I was born. The Earth is moving through space, around a star that is moving through space, around a supermassive black hole moving through space. It’s turtles all the way down and that moment in space and time where I was born is forever lost to the cosmos.

Weirder still, tomorrow is not actually my birthday. There have been about a week’s worth of leap days since I was born. I don’t care to do the mental math for whether this means I’m a week early, or a week late, but ultimately tomorrow is not actually my birthday. It is merely the same “moment” that is given the same acknowledgement as the one that long ago harkened my birth. I’ve been alive for almost 10,600 days. That’s a very long time. I think back on it and it’s surprising how little I’ve gotten done in that time. In 17 months I’ll have been alive 365 months. That’s an interesting moment, I wonder if anyone celebrates their first birth monthyear? A monthyear isn’t really a thing, but maybe it should be. I’ll be at least 2 monthyears before I am dead.

At least I hope so.

I wonder if anything lives for 365 monthyear years? That’s ~11,102 years. 11,100 years ago is what ~9000 BC? This was the beginning of the Neolithic period. A fun latin conjunction, Neo “New” and Lithos “Stone”. As a kid I wish more people would have told me that basically every hard to remember word is latin based, well, most words. It would really benefit kids to be taught latin. So many languages start making sense once you know it. Languages, like animals, have common ancestors (it would be weird if it didn’t). When we are ignorant of our history, language or otherwise, it makes so many things more complicated than they need to be.

What about a 365 monthyearyear years? 4,052,260 years? Assuming I did the math properly. That’s 365 units of 365 units of 365 months. That’s 1 thousandth of the entire lifetime of the earth (ish, 4.5 billion). This is around the time that the first fossil records of Mammoth were found. 4-5 million years ago. That’s neat. We might see one of these in my lifetime, or at least something close to it. A chimaera of an Elephant and a Mammoth. I’m not using the term correctly but regardless.

Increase this once more and you one and a half billion years into the past. That would be the Proterozoic Eon. Here we see the rise of advanced single cell (and multicell) life. Eukaryotes, now that is a fun word. “They look like nuts, what should we call them?” The scientists all glance at one another and laugh heartily I’m sure.

Another jump and we are at half a trillion years ago. This would be a difficult time to talk about since it’s a fair bit further back in time than our universe existed. Presumably the previous universe was enjoying a good margarita and laughing about how eternal it would be. Jokes on them, clearly. As for what will happen 500 billion years in the future? I’m going to guess folks will still be playing Minecraft.

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