There was…perhaps still is…a category in Jeopardy called “Potpourri”. It seemed to be where they put all of their random stuff. I hadn’t really thought about it then and even when I titled this post I didn’t think about it. But perhaps Jeopardy was being more literal than they wanted to admit. Potpourri is a bunch of good smelling dead stuff left in a bowl somewhere, generally taking up space. They have a uniquely vapid quality about them. There appears to be matter there but it just doesn’t really deliver. As a kid I always found the stuff fascinating. This strange entity that just seemed to appear in people’s houses from time to time.
I wondered at times what was going through their heads when they bought it. I don’t think I ever really smelled any Potpourri that didn’t smell “wrong”. Something about it hinting to a time long since past. There is something ancient about them like having human bones assorted out front of your home. I feel somewhat similar about perfume. When I smell it I’m reminded of body odor. Ultimately, to my knowledge, this was the general purpose of perfume. You masked your odors with something a little less vomit inducing.
But the practice lived on. A vestigial trait no longer needed. All these little hobbies and habits of ours that last long beyond their use intrigue me. I’m not saying that people are “wrong” for doing them. Not at all, more that I find the very modern existence of them fascinating. I spelled that wrong initially and it said “fassinating.” This does not trigger a spelling error line on my computer.
Upon Googling it I was greeted with a ton of porn. Clever! Porn people are so good with them portmanteaus. Which is a word you should use in your life as much as possible. It’s a great word. Up there with “Boulder”. But as I discussed with Liz, only Boulder, Bolder isn’t quite as good. I don’t know why, something about the u really makes it taste better. I’m always feeling words more than I’m saying them. Boulder has a good feel to it.
So that’s that, a few tiny paragraphs of vapid flowery nonsense. Maybe you can print this own and put it on the back of your toilet. Given enough time it may ripen and leave a nice distracting aroma where something less pleasant might have been. For added points spritz a few tabs of perfume on it.
Parfume if you’re nasty.