This has been a weird couple of weeks, perhaps just a weird year in general. I can’t say that I’ve appreciated it. I’m hoping that I can make August something better. More high notes and less stress. I would like to try and start up writing again proper. Using this month as a buffer to get me back into the groove.
It is unlikely that by the point this goes live that I’ll have updated the website to the new theme. And even if I have, it is unlikely that I’ll have completely altered the new theme to match the changes that I desire. But once that is underway I think I’ll be a bit more motivated to get things done. There is a persistent desire in my heart to reinvent myself. To try new things and to ask myself new questions. Whenever I don’t do that I become complacent and when I become complacent I think that negative experiences in my life hit me harder.
In a few days I’ll be seeing a dermatologist. This in itself is exciting news. I’ll be turning 30 this month and I’d like to finally look like I’m not just hitting puberty. My voice will still crack at times and I imagine I’ve got another few years before I start to noticeably look old but until then I can enjoy myself and feel a bit more confident. With that I have numerous plans for videos where I can attempt to try and open up, we’ll see how well that goes.
I just don’t want the last month of my 20s to fall apart. I do at times feel that I spent more time in my 20s stressed than I did normal. My health declined dramatically and I hurt in many ways. I hear a lot of folks say that their 30s were the best years of their life. You’ve become established, worked out the stressors, and started moving towards some kind of solid framework. John Oliver is apparently 36, if his last video is to be believed, and that really sets the bar to me.
Skepticism will loom over my head but I won’t let it mold my future. So today, though a day behind, I write about my plans to make August work. Plenty of thoughts roiling in my head should make for an easy month of writing. (It is important to jinx yourself before a project. Builds character.)