Today I had to drive to work a little bit late. It is what it is. But to my surprise I-5 was largely traffic free. I should have known that something was terribly terribly wrong. It is a bit like being in a horror film and then being propositioned for sex. Sure, you think you are getting laid. But what are you really getting? A guaranteed stabbing! That’s what you are getting! The villain is going to skewer you something fierce! But, you might say, still got to see boobies.
Indeed you did, before they were stabbed!
So here I am getting the proverbial laying by I-5. And then the music starts to change. I hear the shrill screech of the violin. Oh no, it can’t be. There it is, traffic! I’m nearly the turn off for 134 which I’ll normally be on for all of 3 to 5 minutes before I am at work (we work just off the 134). Its a length of road that I could probably jog if I was properly hydrated without stopping. But today?
Oh no, there will be no jogging. There will be no walking, nor running. Everything is at a standstill. I’m in this madness for ten minutes, then twenty, nearing on thirty before I see the cause. All 5 (6?) lanes of 134 had been reduced to a single lane. California is known for many things, but one thing that it might not be famous for is how easily its citizens can be driven into a lord of the flies style frenzy.
If you cut off all but one lane of a highway you are basically dooming hundreds of people to a slow and merciless death. I watched as cars weaved around one another in a futile attempt to get through the tiny funnel into the freedom that lie on the otherside. It was like watching the Titanic sink. All the women and children were squeezing out while the men looked on with sadness. They knew their fate, an eternity behind the gate.
Once I was passed the closure it took about two minutes to get to my work. It was literally right before my off ramp. You might think, oh, silly, take one earlier then and go around.
I’d have loved to! Except they had that blocked off too! For reasons I cannot parse because the only thing there was a truck blocking it. Really? Did that truck need to be there. Did we really need to do this? I suspect it was just the state honoring its bird. Long and slender positioned conveniently between the ring and the index finger. Now, once I finish this smoothie, I’m off to the sweet release of sleep. Keeping with this schedule as best I can!